There's Something About the Way you Wink Tonight

Have you ever winked at someone? Like an unexplained wink that oozed definition and feel and the subject matter knew what you were winking about without any explanation? It’s a great tool of expression, right? A wink delivered on cue can speak a thousand words. Myself; I don’t think I have ever winked at someone except at myself in the mirror on a particularly good hair day.

The wink is a tough play with someone who is not familiar with you nor you familiar with them. Join me as I delve into the art of the wink and all it encompasses.

Sure, winking at someone your comfortable with is easy. It doesn’t even matter what it means because the person knows you well enough to know they like you and you’re probably just winking because you feel like tasting your dinner tonight instead of gabbing through it.

Winking without definition is a slippery slope however. Actually, legend has it Sonny Bono was winking at a ‘ski bunny’ in his last moments.

Winking at someone without a precursor is ambiguous because it can mean such a myriad of things. You can either be perceived as really nice or really creepy, all within the friendly confines of the same wink. George Costanza once had a whole month of his life screwed up because of an involuntary wink due to getting lemon juice in his eye. The definition of being hoodwinked’ is to be deceived or tricked. If I went up to the matronly Librarian who is standing about ten feet to my left right now and started winking at her, I would probably have my precious library card revoked for harassment. If I winked at this guy sitting at the terminal next to me I would probably…eh, I think he might wink back unfortunately. Wink at a girl at a bar and you are going to expose yourself to intense scrutiny and assumption, and probably end up with the last guy who winked at her’s phone number in your wallet.


Anyways, winkers in our society have been on the downswing since the onslaught of cynicism has barnstormed our everyday lives. Let’s look at some of the unfortunate paths some famous ‘winkers’ have trudged down.
Rip Van ‘Winkle was not an ambitious man by any means. He slept and slept until he probably woke up one day old, broke, wrinkly, and loveless(I have not read the story so correct me if he ended up the CEO of NoDoz).Henry ‘Winkler was a heartthrob in the 70’s as “The Fonz”, but have you looked at him lately?For goodness sake, he makes Rip Van Winkle look fetching. And don’t even get me started on the dreaded Winkelvoss twins. Not even their mother likes those guys.


I can only remember one person who has winked at me in my life. My former high school coach became my boss when I coached at my alma mater and he would call a kid into his office and pretend like he was mad at him. He would give him a hard time and break them down about some minutia and when the kid would stare at the ground thinking he was in for a session of cleaning Mr.Pfieffers blackboard erasers, Coach would wink at me to let me know he was messing with the kid. The subject didn’t get to see the wink however, so he had to sustain the elongation of the berating until Coach felt ready to let him know everything was going to be ok. Depending on Coach’s mood, this process could cover a bunch of winks to me and a plethora of boot shaking by the presumed assailant…See, another incident of a wink just not feeling all that good. (In all reality it was in good humor and he only did it to kids that could handle it. Everyone laughed together after. Win/Win.)

Anyways, a year ago today I decided to use my first ‘wink….’ E-harmony has a list of options of ways to break the ice with a potential matched mate. I had to choose between, “Hi. We seem to have been matched up, how are you?” “ You seem interesting, would you like to share an electronic mail?, “ I can see my unborn children in your eyes,” and just simply, “Wink.”

I chose to wink at Melissa and let it ride. I was excited when she winked back later that day. We began emailing a few days later and on September 17th of this year, we got engaged. We will be married on July 21st of next year.

Our relationship began with an online wink and to this day we haven’t winked at each other in real life. This morning I texted her, “wink” and she texted back that she was so happy and smiley when she got the first wink from me on that fateful day one calendar year ago. I shudder to think at what could have been lost had she misread the wink and been looking for a less flirty opening segment from her potential suitor.

All I know is I am in love. In love with a woman of virtue and passion for the Lord and for life. Melissa makes me laugh like I have never laughed before and it’s now finally safe to tell her that I do see my unborn children in her eyes; both her wide open eyes and her winky eyes.

I am saving my first real life wink to her for an opportunistic moment. Perhaps the next time I see her even. Or at the altar.Or as she lay on the hospital bed pushing out our first child. Or on my death bed as we say farewell on this side of heaven. Maybe all of the above.

I know this next wink will be unlike the first one, which was punctuated with a nervous question mark. The next wink or winks will end with a much different punctuation at the end of it. This time with a period. I love you.