Monday, May 24, 2010

Slowly Going The Way Of The Buffalo

ya its been 3 weeks..good thing lying isnt a sin.

forgive me, as the only punctuation i will be applying in this blog tonite is capitalizing the word God. its 2am.what do you want from me?

tomorrow i am getting the oppurtunity to talk about God to someone that is very very important to me. please pray that this goes well. i am gonna ask this person to pray the salvation prayer. i have always had a burden for his or her soul. so this is huge to have this chance. its all that matters .

As part of promoting our church addictions class, I am giving a 3 to 5 minute testimony in front of my church on sunday at all 3 services. i am going to speak of what i dealt with in falling into the poker boom,head first. also correlate it with my health, and the escape that the money involved in gambling for a living provided me. One day soon i will detail my venture in gambling here in a lengthy article which many of you will skim. haha. i think its important for me to write about it.

i kind of worry that im self promoting too much..."like i did this great thing and i did that great thing and im getting my life together and im holier than thou"...just to keep myself grounded for you who think im tooting my own horn too prevelantly,,im gonna list some things i have sucked at lately.

1) i ordered a water at panera today ,and filled it with about 5 sips of pepsi and drank it, before i filled it with im a thief

2) i said the s word the other day in the privacy of my own home when i smashed my knee on my table miscalculating a turn from the living room into the dining room.freaking i curse like a sailor.

3) i didnt fill my rental car back up with gas to the point where it was when i got it cuz i noticed on the receipt he didnt mark the spot i got it at..- so im a liar (it really is a sin, good thing sins are forgiven by his grace )

4) i selfishly have wanted to meet a girl that meets the following extensive criteria

a) wants to know what me and her can do for God and not exclusively what i can do for her

b) doesnt want just the normal american cushy life,,wants to outreach more then earn paychecks and gather up belongings..(spoken like a guy that doesnt earn a large wage,,haha)

c) wont run away in a time of challenge ,fleeting hearts blow chunks.

d) will give me a freaking kid ( inside of the marriage realm of course ,ha) , so i can love something unlike any other thing i could possibly love

e ) has always been a female

f) can rent a car in the state of New York.

-----so im selfish ,,,,,,,,,,,,but really i am challenged to do even the little things the way God wants me to.. they say the little things mean everything in i dont wanna breach my character in any way,even in a few sips of soda. still such a challenge , good character doesnt come naturally sometimes throughout the day. i do however give the peace sign now to people that flick me off or get angry at me on the road...i think it upsets them more really is funny when i didnt do anything wrong and i get gestured at. it is even more funny when its clear they have made the wrong move on the road and somehow blame me. yesterday this guy just waddled out into the road when i had the right of way and i had to stop and let him go by,,but somehow he was throwing his arms up at me like i did something wrong..i laughed and gave him the peace sign..haha

see im not perfect and i feel good saying it. now onto some more awesome things im doing..ha..

Here is my life tally in the categories that matter

Days without gambling : 176

Souls God has allowed me to participate in helping get Saved since i obeyed him and stopped gambling : 4

Days where I took money out of the Atm to gamble since i quit gambling : 1

Which brings me to my point. I have to make a conscientious decision everyday to not give in to the tempation of playing no limit texas hold em. It's easy whenever something goes wrong to think about what i used to facilitate my sadness with,and that is poker. I need to thank God everyday i wake up that he will help me not to gamble,and even take away the desire altogether. I was driving to the casino about 2 months ago to play. I had something happen in my life that upset me and in the moment,there i went..about a third of the way there God started to remind me of the awful feelings i used to have at the casino. He reminded me of the nasty hot dogs i would eat alone in the middle of the nite . He reminded me of the rest stop near darien lake that i would sleep at on the way home because i coudlnt keep my eyes open for another second . he reminded of the empty feeling you get when you hit that elevator after a nite of losing. God has rewarded me in my obedience by being there when he knows im weak. When i started to think of these things the desire to gamble left me and i turned around . God is so cool. He really is..He will never leave you or forsake you,if you just give him a chance.

Song of the blog: When my ex girlfriend broke up with me early last year,propelling me into trying to quit gambling ,this song was the one i heard the most and played over and over in my car,it was very fitting,,of course i faltered and didnt actually quit for good for another 9 months..but this song is so fitting to starting over,and just surrendiering your pain and problems to the love of the one who actually formed you. this song is powerful,and this band is just amazing. We are never broken beyond repair.

Sports thought of the blog: My basketball team is gonna blow a 3-0 lead and lose the series 4-3 ..chalk it down.... Also , Dwight Howard,, God doesnt care who wins a Celtics -Magic playoff game so stop saying that the only reason you won tonite was " cuz God wanted us to" ..... liesssssss all liessssss...

Quote of the blog: " I never said most of the things I said ."- Yogi Berra.

'Never ending Hilarity' of the blog : Last week I went to a red wings game with my friend t-bone,and forgot my i.d. Well I wanted a beer , so I ordered one,and they asked for my i.d. I told them I didn't have it and they said I can't buy beer without it. So i took off my hat and showed them about 4 days worth of not shaving my head. Apparently it was quite a scene up there. I announced to them , " look at my head,do you know alot of under 21 year old's that have male pattern baldness like this?" The guy laughed and gave me the beer. This also worked again later when I went back for another one. (it was a 4 hour game ,I'm not a lush) .... So after all these years of being bald,it has finally turned out to be good for something. ,It's funny because i started to go bald right at 21 ( the drinking age) , thanks to prescription steroids, so I could have been using my head all along instead of my Id.. Really though i saw a kid who was bald playing high school basketball once so its a flawed concept,,but the red wings vendors didnt know that... the key is having it grown out a few days so they can see the distinct lack of hair on top to the proportion of hair on the sides..

I am sure I have more to say, but i cant keep my eyes opened any longer. Thanks for reading,and down with fire hydrants!!

1 comment:

Justin said...

Awesome... Thanks for posting Joe!!!